WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE? (AKO, Your Higher-Self Voice)
The Deep Dive Worksheet: Choosing What to Plant First
This worksheet goes with the blog. It has 7 short activities. Each one tells you exactly what to do, and shows you a filled-in example first, so you always know what your answer should look like.
Take your time. There are no wrong answers here.
1. THE QUESTION LOG
Instructions: This week, catch the moment "what should I do with my life" shows up, big or small. As soon as you notice it, come back and log it: what you were doing right before, and what it actually felt like underneath.
Which voice usually sounds loudest when this question shows up? (check all that apply)
☐ UNGA — "Pick the option with the least risk."
☐ LOLA — "Don't choose wrong or you'll get hurt again."
☐ TATA — "You need a perfect plan before you begin."
☐ AKO — "Choose something that feels true enough to start."
☐ Other: ___________________________
EXAMPLE ENTRY
What I was doing right before: Scrolling through old photos of a friend's trip at 1am.
What showed up: A tight, sinking feeling like everyone else got a memo I never received.
The feeling underneath it: Behind. Also a little bit afraid I'm wasting time.
Which voice sounded loudest: TATA — telling me I need a perfect plan before I can relax about any of this.
ENTRY 1 — What I was doing right before:
What showed up:
The feeling underneath it:
Which voice sounded loudest:
ENTRY 2 — What I was doing right before:
What showed up:
The feeling underneath it:
Which voice sounded loudest:
ENTRY 3 — What I was doing right before:
What showed up:
The feeling underneath it:
Which voice sounded loudest:
2. SORT THE BELIEF FROM THE EVIDENCE
Instructions: Write down the belief driving the pressure you feel, then go looking for the real evidence of how meaning has actually shown up in your life so far, not the feeling, the actual evidence.
VERY SURE — SOMEWHAT SURE — NOT REALLY SURE — NO IDEA, HONESTLY
EXAMPLE
The belief: "There's one correct life I'm supposed to find, and I haven't found it yet."
Circled: Very sure.
Evidence for the belief: It really does feel like other people already know what they're doing.
Evidence against the belief: Every time I've actually felt fulfilled, it was because I was doing something, not because I'd found some hidden answer first: teaching my niece to ride a bike, finishing a project I actually cared about, helping a coworker through a hard week.
What this tells me: Meaning showed up in the doing, every single time, not before it.
The belief driving the pressure right now:
Circle one above, then write it here:
Evidence for the belief:
Evidence against the belief (times meaning showed up through doing):
What this tells you about how meaning actually gets built:
3. WHERE THE MAP GOT HANDED TO YOU
Instructions: Agency, the felt sense that your own choices count, didn't get modeled for everyone. This activity traces back where you first learned to follow someone else's map instead of drawing your own, so you can see it as something you learned, not a fact about you.
EXAMPLE
Where the map got handed to me: Growing up, the path was already set: good grades, the right college, the stable job. Nobody ever asked what I actually wanted.
What I concluded from it: "There's a correct path, and my job is to follow it well, not to draw my own."
About how old I was: Somewhere around 10, when the plan first started getting explained to me like it was already decided.
Where I'm still applying that lesson today: I keep choosing jobs that look impressive on paper, and quietly wondering why they don't feel like mine.
Where the map got handed to you:
What you concluded from it:
About how old you were:
Where you're still applying that lesson today:
4. NAME YOUR DEFAULT MOVE
Instructions: When this question gets loud, you default to one of two moves: waiting for the answer to arrive before committing to anything, or following whatever looks impressive from the outside. Circle the one you reach for most.
I WAIT FOR THE ANSWER TO ARRIVE — I FOLLOW SOMEONE ELSE'S MAP
EXAMPLE
Circled: I wait for the answer to arrive.
What this move protects me from: The risk of committing to something and finding out later it was the "wrong" purpose.
What it's actually cost me: Years of staying in "figuring it out" mode instead of actually building anything I could learn from.
One thing I might do differently if I dropped it for a week: Pick one small, values-aligned action and just start it, without needing to know if it's "the" answer first.
Circle one above, then write it here:
What this move protects you from:
What it's actually cost you:
One thing you might do differently if you dropped it for a week:
5. THE GARDEN FILE
Instructions: The old belief is convinced meaning is something you find, not something you grow. This activity builds a file of proof against it: real moments, big or small, when meaning showed up because you were doing something, not because you'd discovered a hidden answer.
EXAMPLE
1.
2.
3.
Tip: keep this list somewhere you'll see it again, and add to it every time you notice meaning showing up after you acted, not before.
6. A LETTER FROM AKO
Instructions: Look back at the four voices and their messages: UNGA wants safety and says "pick the option with the least risk." LOLA wants protection and says "don't choose wrong or you'll get hurt again." TATA wants certainty and says "you need a perfect plan before you begin." Circle whichever one sounds loudest in your own head right now, and let AKO write that voice a short letter, thanking it for trying to help, and telling it what's changed since it first learned to say that.
EXAMPLE
Which voice sounds loudest right now (circle): UNGA — LOLA — TATA
Dear ___,
7. THIS WEEK'S ONE SEED
Instructions: Pick one value you named in Activity 2 or 3. Choose the smallest possible action that lines up with it, something so small it feels almost too easy to count. Predict what you think will happen. Then plant it, just that one seed, and come back and write what actually happened.
EXAMPLE
Value I'm planting toward: Creativity.
Smallest seed I'll plant this week: Spend twenty minutes on a personal project with no goal beyond enjoying it.
I predict: I'll feel guilty for "wasting time" instead of doing something more productive.
What actually happened: It was the calmest twenty minutes of my week, and I didn't want to stop.
Value you're planting toward:
Smallest seed you'll plant this week:
I predict:
What actually happened:
Nothing here proves you were behind, or that you were wrong to wait for certainty before. It proves the plot of land was always yours to plant, and one small seed is still a start.
You got this! Nobody is coming to save you… you have to save yourself!
HAPPYISH HUMANS